Zibuyile iinkokheli

Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth”; and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, the herb that yields seed according to its kind, and the tree that yields fruit, whose seed is in itself according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. so the evening came and the morning were the third day.

Then God said, “Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs and seasons, and for days and years, and let them be for lights in the firmaments of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so. Then God made two great lights: the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also. God set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth, and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. So the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

Genesis 11-19 (NKJV)

Hey Leader!

God made every season. Spring, summer, autumn, including winter…those are all on God, whether we prefer some seasons over others or not. He made them all. One of my favourite things about God is that He is a master Creator. None of what He does is haphazard or without purpose. He is very intentional about everything He creates, including seasons and us.

Winter has to come. It has to. There is no way of bypassing it. Some of us wish we could say, “No thank you. I’ll skip over to spring this year, I’ve weathered enough winters in my lifetime.” Fortunately (not an error, fortunately is used to introduce a statement about an event or situation that is good) we cannot. I’ve tried praying it away and it didn’t work, trust me. Winter has to come.

By the way, before we even delve deeper into this topic, let’s get this one truth out of the way: time and seasons were made by God for us, not Him. The lights that He made to divide day from night, for signs and seasons, for days and years? Those were for us, here on earth. Not for Him because unlike us, God doesn’t need any reminders as to what time it is. He exists beyond the constraints and the realm of time. Times and seasons are merely an entity that is an aid for human life.

With that said, although we might dislike winter for the harshness of its weather or the dryness and ‘death’ it seems to bring along with it, winter is necessary, it has to come – no matter how wonderful of a time you’ve had through the other seasons. For most of us, the challenge of winter isn’t that it comes; God has given us signs to herald changes in season for a reason. The challenge isn’t that it catches us off guard; the signs are always there yet we may often be in denial and want warm weather to linger for a little longer.

Winter has to come, for several obvious and perhaps not so apparent reasons. The most obvious one being, if for example, I live in South Africa which is in the southern hemisphere, and it’s permanently summer here, what about those living in the northern hemisphere? Would it be fair for them to be subjected to winter all year round? Granted, there are some parts of the world that are in a permanent state of winter, but this is not the discussion at hand here.

“Why didn’t God just make spring and summer and call it a day?” you might be wondering. Well, remember the earlier statement about seasons being for us and God being intentional about everything He does? We need winter. Creation needs winter in order for it to continue living. Crazy, right?

Let us backtrack a little so I can give you some context as to where all of this is headed. If you have read my previous posts https://zibuyileiinkokheli.com/2023/03/31/do-not-squander-this-season/ and https://zibuyileiinkokheli.com/2023/08/15/walking-graciously-through-the-behind-the-scenes-of-winter-part-1/ you will know that I’ve been going through a rather interesting season of my life this year. I know I’ve been a bit vague about it all because one, I’m waiting for God to give me the go-ahead to share the details of the story and two, I’m still learning the intricacies of how to tell my parts without revealing someone else’s.

To spell it out without saying too much: I never wanted to live in Cape Town. I flat out rebelled and tried to pursue a different degree from what I now hold. The discomfort I felt that year was like a mother eagle sticking thorns into the nest so the eaglets would feel it and eventually learn to fly. As you would have it, I found myself in Cape Town kicking and fighting like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I hated it here for years, five to be specific. To me, “this place” was just a detour. A comma, punctuating the rest of what would be the sentence that is my future.

So much life happened to me in Cape Town, and I hated it even further. You couldn’t have paid me to try to convince me to stay here. Then life happened even more, and I was ready to leave, until I was stopped in my tracks and God very clearly and literally told me, “No. Not yet.” Do you think I surrendered without a fight? Nope. Not me. I fought with every fiber of my being until one day I landed on a resuscitation bed at one of the hospitals I worked in as a student intern. I had passed out from the battle. This happened several times in 2019 on different occasions. That’s a story for another day.

Needless to say, I lost the battle and I stayed in Cape Town for another two years for my medical internship programme. The plot twist I never saw coming was the fact that I would go back to the very same people and places that caused me so much hurt and traumas I refused to even talk about. I didn’t get it at first until one day I stood at a crossroads (literally) and took a deep breath and heard a whisper saying, “Let’s make right the wrongs before you can leave. You will remain here until you have dealt with the reasons why you hate being here. When it is time, you will walk away, not run.”

Yeah. That’s exactly what happened. At the end of internship. I walked away from “my place of detour” with so much peace. It felt like a scene from a movie that had been dragging on for far too long was finally coming to an end. Was I sad when I relocated to Mpumalanga? Of course. I cried that entire week up to the point when my flight took off on the 31st December 2021 and I watched Table Mountain fade away in the distance. A chapter was closing and although I had zero plans or inclinations of ever coming back as a resident, I had found a home, family in “that place”.

Fast forward to October 2022, I found myself on yet another crossroad. The difference this time was that I knew exactly which road I wanted to take. However, the same voice that whispered when I was in the same predicament almost three years prior, returned. This time it wasn’t a whisper. It was as audible in my ears as though we had been having this conversation. “Go back to Cape Town…”

You can imagine my alarm at this point because you would agree with me I think when I say that the chapter had been closed. We’d already been a few chapters further into the book and now I was being told to make a u-turn? For what? As you would have it, your girl is a fighter and I wasn’t going to give in to this one without a showdown.

Jokes on me because here I am, in Cape Town, living my life one ordered step and sometimes leap at a time. I’m now post-community service, still on the job market, working part time. Excuse me? A doctor working part time? How is that even possible? Yeah, I can hear you wondering as you read this. That’s also a conversation for another day. It’s difficult to explain yet it’s really not that complicated.

I am working at not squandering this season. Key words being ‘working at’. I’ve gotten it right sometimes – doing what each order requires of me. Like the times when I actually upload a blog post or serving at church or showing up as a doctor for how ever many days I am able to work that week.

I have been disgruntled and slipped on the steps a few times I must admit, and all of those slip ups happened during what I now recognize was my winter season. So I have spent days in bed, mindlessly scrolling through social media, wallowing and distressed over people’s posts of their spring and summer seasons. I’ve had questions for God and man has He been giving me answers. Most of them nothing like what I expected but all of them in line with His Word. Talk about a Man of His Word!

Winter had to come and it did. The signs were there but I was caught up in the grief of the previous season and the fact that I couldn’t see the fruits of my obedience. Winter has to come and some trees don’t bear fruits in winter. As a matter of fact, they often look withered and dead to the unwise eye and you risk prematurely deciding to chop down the tree instead of tending the soil from which it grows.

God had given me an instruction, prepared me for it unbeknownst to me and was gracious and kind enough to make provisions for it, yet I still struggled through winter. Winter is cold. It can be harsh and if you live on my part of the world, when it rains it pours. Hence my silence here. It’s not that I had nothing to share.

So did I squander my winter season? At first I thought I completely did and man did I spend days on end beating myself up for it. There is so much that I could have done with the ample time I had, yet I didn’t. However, I came to the realization that although I don’t have any tangible fruits to show for my obedience, winter had to come and it did. During my winter season, my character was being built.

In the silence, my patience was being built. In the scrolling, my heart’s meditations were being refined. In serving, I am learning obedience. I am learning and unlearning. Am I crying in the process? Of course! Wouldn’t you cry too if you sometimes felt like your entire being was on a dissecting table and the person holding the scalpel is being precise and taking their time with the process?

Anyways, this post was just a follow-up on my last one. I’m not sure yet where this is going because none of my posts ever take on the initial intended direction but here we are.

Winter has to come and as you do life and lead, I hope that you will remember that seasons are necessary and changes will always be heralded by signs. Lastly, every season has been made by God, for us, not Him.