Zibuyile iinkokheli

Hey Leader!

Is it too late for me to say, “Happy New Year?” Well…happy new year!

If you know anything about me, you will know that I love monthly recaps in the form of pictures and/or videos (case in point: the cover page for this post was captured on the 3rd of May 2023 during one of my evening beach walks). I’ve been doing them consistently since beginning 2023. However, I started slacking towards the latter half of 2023 – for several reasons, top of which was because my gallery wasn’t filled with ‘recap worthy’ moments like it used to.

You see, 2023 switched up on me in a way I hadn’t anticipated. Granted, the year itself was nothing I would’ve cooked up for myself. Some days I was coasting peacefully, yet a majority of the time, my swan feet were paddling for dear life beneath the still waters.

Needless to say, today is the 31st of January 2024 and I barely feel like anything changed as I stepped into the new year. Most people relate to “new year, new me” or whatever catch phrase they dub to catapult and motivate themselves into and throughout the year.

For me, things are a little different. I haven’t coined any words or phrases to launch me into this chapter of the Gregorian calendar. Not that there aren’t any. A lot has been dropped into my heart over the past 31 days but if you ask me, I am choosing to take inventory of the lessons I learned over the past year, refine my understanding and persevere in walking them out as I pursue 2024’s portion.

With that said, here are a few nuggets that I can confidently say I have stored up in my reservoir of experiences. Each hour and day had its own lesson – in retrospect, I regret not journaling because I could’ve compiled an entire book! I’m still registered as a student when it comes to some lessons and for some, I’ve graduated and moved on to the next. Please hear me out…this is by no means an exhaustive list of everything I learned in 2023. As a matter of fact, this is just a drop in the ocean. I have a selection of topics to flesh out but for the sake of being concise, I have grouped these lessons into the following categories: God, Me, Relationships, General.

About God

He is Sovereign – it is His absolute right to do all things according to His own good pleasure.

I have struggled with this concept for a while, even more so in 2023. It was not until I came to the understanding that God is the Creator of all things, His wisdom is unparalleled and good is not just a trait He possesses but the essence of who He is. Everything about God is Good. He is Good in His sovereignty, whether I fathom it or not.

Job answered God

“I’m convinced: You can do anything and everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, ‘Who is this muddying the water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?’

I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head. You told me, ‘Listen, and let me do the talking. Let me ask questions. You give the answers.’

I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand-from my own eyes and ears! I’m sorry-forgive me. I’ll never do that again, I promise! I’ll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor.”

Job 42:1-6 (MSG)

In my bid to gain an understanding of God’s sovereignty, I have had a lot of questions and just like Job, I have babbled on about things way above my capacity to understand. Needless to say, I have often muddied the waters with my doubt and interestingly, although God owes me no answers when it comes to His ways, He has been gracious enough to allow me to hear and experience Him for myself. It has been in the hearing and seeing that I have come to accept that my understanding or lack thereof, does not alter His sovereignty.

God is God. This is a concept that my mind needs daily training and subduing on because of its tendency to want to intellectualize everything.

In His sovereignty, God also cares for me and about me – affectionately and watchfully so.

To care affectionately is to readily feel and show gentleness and sensitivity (especially to pain). To care watchfully is to pay attention to what is happening in case of danger.

Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?”

Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.

Mark 4:36-39 (NKJV)

I might not have been in that boat on that particular day but I can almost fully imagine and feel the anguish and panic in which the disciples found themselves. After a long day’s work ministering to the crowds with Jesus, they were caught in the middle of a raging storm at sea. Their leader? Fast asleep, comfortably on a pillow in the midst of the great tempest.

Naive me has previously been quick to judge the disciples for their panic when they were in the company of Him whose voice is sufficient to calm winds and waves. Current me though? Not so much. Current me has the benefit of having a bound Bible for reference. The disciples didn’t. They were learning about the miracles that Jesus could perform as they went along with Him. I, on the other hand, am learning simultaneously through history and personal experience.

One would think that because I have crib notes on how the story ends, I would do better. To be completely transparent with you, I don’t know how many times I’ve felt like I was about to suffer shipwreck, this train about to derail, the car wheels about to pop off and the plane about to crash. And in my panic cried, “Jesus, don’t you care that I’m suffering?”

The truth of the matter is: He cares. He is God in and through my suffering.

There are many more lessons I have learned about God over the past few months. I could never count them all. You see, every day is an opportunity to discover a different aspect to God’s character and man, have I been learning! I could write chapters and chapters about how I’ve bore witness to God as Jireh. Healer. Redeemer. Advocate. Counsellor. Father. Friend. Refuge. Deliverer. I am yet to unpack even the aspects of Him that I thought I was familiar with. I am yet to discover more.

On the next post, I will share a few of the lessons I learned about myself in 2023 and we’ll see how far that goes.

As you do life and lead, I hope you will open yourself up to experiencing God in the various ways He wants to reveal Himself to you. I pray that you will reach a point where you are resolute in your heart and mind that God in His sovereignty, cares for you with great tenderness and cares about you with caution. He will not let your foot slip.